Monday, June 27, 2005

Open Challenge to Michael Bryant, Ont. MPP

Dear Mr. Ontario Health Minister, Michael Bryant,
On the news they have been warning people with breathing problems to stay inside and although I also have a memory problem, I believe it was 76% of premature deaths of people dying due to the high humidity and polution. I must tell you, the way my ribs are feeling as if they are being crushed in by some heavy vise and breathing is difficult. Doing anything is a chore in itself. I don't drive, so it's not so simple to get to the hospital.
You have left me and so many other Ontarians with out a doctor and sent them running out West for better pay and opportunity. Where does that leave us? You promise us that in 6 or 7 years, the province will see improvements with added doctors. There are some of us that can't wait those years and need a doctor NOW!
Isn't it bad enough you ban our dogs and now you leave us in danger. Do you plan on killing everything to make a safer Ontario? That certainly would solve the problem of safety if there was no one left to keep safe.
But the strong survive, so I guess the government will remain, but you know Michael, you don't mind me calling you by your first name do you? Afterall, you are so involved with ruining our lives that I'm sure that qualifies us to use first name basis. Besides, it beats the names I normally call you. Hmmm...where was I? Yes Michael, I have a problem with memory too as I have multi conditions that aren't being treated properly without...you know...a DOCTOR!
Are you comfortable in your central air conditioned beautiful home? My 2 fans just don't seem to give me the same feeling. Blowing humid heat dosen't really cool you off, but it does raise our hydro bills. Do the Ontario citizens pay for your luxuries with our tax dollars?
I would love to have you come live in my apartment for one month. Now to be fair, you wouldn't be allowed to buy or bring anything with you. You would have to live like I do.
Let me make one thing PERFECTLY CLEAR Michael! I have a staffie, which you call Pit bull. Under no condition can you do her any harm. YOU will take her for her walks and bike rides she loves. Yes, you will have the use of my BMX, so leave your gas guzzling, polution making car at home. You will live with what the government gives me to live on for that month. You will not use any of your money or bank cards or bank accounts for that month. Only MY allowance. Now I must remind you, you did after 20 or 30 years finally give us an increase of an additional $20 - $25 monthly. Living in poverty isn't quite so bad, other that you seemed to have forgotten that everything else has risen during that time, and to tell you the truth Michael, and not to sound non-appreciative, but prior to my disabilities I was a hard worker holding a good job that I loved very much. Nothing like YOUR job Michael, what I was doing was 'honest work' and it made me feel good about myself. How do you sleep at nights?
Oh, back to Shasta. Don't forget I keep plenty of baggies hidden away, but handy for when she does her business. I expect you to make sure you clean up right after her. You will notice she is fairly regular, so watch for mornings and after 7PM. Another thing she requires is LOVE! You MUST PROMISE me you will offer her that love for the month that you live here. She will not be a problem for you, but I would advise against wearing black as my cats tend to shed. And you MUST share my bed with all the pets as we don't want anything changed other than you and I.
Warning Michael. Shasta is very effectionate and I hope you won't mind her showing you so. Who knows, perhaps after a month with Shasta you could even change your mind about the muzzling and the ban.
I will allow you cetain access to my computer, but since you are in MY realm now, you will speak to my friends. My friends also have what you classify as Pit bulls. You just might learn something from all this. Plus I have tons of website for you to visit. It will teach you so many things you never knew before about the breed. You may come away a new and more appreciative man Michael.
It could be an experience of a live time and show you how some of the private sector lives. You may not like it, but perhaps you will understand up just a little more.
I really hope you take me up on my offer. I hope you don't mind, but there is a sink full of dishes that I haven't been able to get to due to being weak. Be a dear and clean then up for me won't you Michael.
Yours truly,
Conners

1 comment:

Conners said...

To be fair, I have sent an email to Michael Bryant and hope to hear from him. I do so hope he takes this challenge as I've never been so serious in my life. I know it's unlikely, but we will see if he at least replies and who knows? Perhaps he will be a good sport about this and give it a try. I know, you think I'm dreaming...and I doubt I will even hear from him, but I hope I do. I will let you know.