Update...I could be going to see DAD!

UPDATE: I just might be able to go see Dad after all. I've done a whole lot of research and phone calls. The plane fare is too outrages, as well as the trains. All the prices have skyrocketed. When I checked with the Grayhound Bus Depot, the first price they came me made me think this was going to be impossible too.
I'm too old and more sensible than I was in my youth when I thought nothing about sticking out the old thumb and making my way across Canada and back...Several times. Oh, the horror stories I could tell you as well as the great times too. But I survived near death experiences and met some wonderful people too. But now I'm off track. *sigh*
There is Advanced Purchase Fares and although you can't go for specific days, they have a 7 day rate and a 14 day rate (going during a week day rather than the weekend) and that, with a little savings and pinching my money, I could afford.
So now I wait for a reply email from Calgary to tell me if it's a go or not. How I would just love to surprise Dad and him not even know that I'm coming, when suddenly I pop into his hospital room, but that probably could cause his heart to go, so best no big surprises.
It's going to be a 3 day trip there and 3 day back. Luckily I'm tiny and can curl up in the tiniest seat and fall asleep or it would be such a hard trip. They make pit stops along the way, so you can go into the washrooms and freshen up a little a get a bite to eat.
I'm going to miss being away from Shasta and worried to death about BrandyCat, being as old and frail as he is now, but wanting to see Dad out weighs my other fears. If he is no longer able to travel, this may well be the very last time I see him. I need this time with him!
He's still in the hospital and it looks like he will be in there a very long time since they can't operate on his heart and trying out therapy for his back and legs. At least he will recognize me or that would have been devastating, but that was only because they needed to keep him so drugged up.
Have you ever felt excited yet leary at the same time? The last time I saw him he was so active and on the go. Now he is weak, sick and can't stand up. Will I be able to hold in the tears? I'll blame in on allergies like I always do. I laugh at the weirdest times too. I think it's something I learnt through all the years of abuse. I got confused with what face to put on for what given situation. That's why now it's so good to be who I am all the time... (almost most. LOL) but I still try to hide fear and usually I do that by laughing or cracking jokes.
A thought just popped into my head and it told me not to look ahead to worry, but wait until the time comes and it will be alright. So that's what I'm going to do and already feel the calmness coming back to me.
Dad could be a little upset with me knowing my financial situation (BROKE! LOL) and not wanting me to come because of that. But, I'm very strong willed and once I get something in my mind, it's pretty hard to change it by any logic as I have the 'logic of Conners' on my side and can make my logic sound very reasonable. Either that, or I've confused people to pieces. *giggle*
Well I better give Ruby a tank cleaning (yes, I got him out of the bowl for those that have read my earlier posts)...so I'll keep you updated with Dad.