Thursday, January 19, 2006

In Loving Memory

I got Brandy when he was just 6 weeks old when the kids were just young. I almost lost him at about 3, as he had a massive heart attack and suffered with a heart murmur. The vet said he wouldn't make it through the night, but BrandyCat proved him wrong. He was to be on heart medication his whole life, but even then, the vet said he wouldn't make it to middle age.
Brandy, strong willed proved the vet wrong again. After about 10 years, I decided to try only giving him his heart medication every other day as it stressed him out so much. The days he wasn't on it, I noticed an improvement and stressed out the days I did give it to him. I slowly weaned him off thinking if need be I could always put him back on. That was the last time I ever gave him the medication. and he lived a full and happy long life.
The past couple of years you could see him becoming more frail and with Brandy, he took pride as never having any mats and kept himself so clean, but now he just wasn't able to and I tried the best I could to groom him. He lost his hearing last year and would go through bouts of not knowing where he was or what he was doing and cry because he was lost. I never stayed away for any length as I wanted him to know I was always there to rescue him. When he felt my hands on him, he would calm down and purr up a storm as I'd bring him to my lap.
Brandy and I have always had a mental connection. It may sound funny to some of you, but others will understand what I mean, and that is a very 'special' and close bond. Only 3 days ago, I put my forehead to his with tears in my eyes and told him I wanted to do the right thing and if it was time for him to pass, I would do right by him. I sure got my answer very abruptly, that I couldn't help but giggle inside. He pulled his head away from me with his ears back and went straight to his food dish and started gobbling down his food. It was as if he was saying, 'Does THIS look like I'm ready to go!' He sure put me in my place, but then, Brandy always was Top Cat!
One thing Brandy always hated...and I mean HATED...was going to the vets. He definitely was a cat with attitude and he let you know it. He was always loving with me, but when it came to others...meaning people and animals, he made sure he showed them who was BOSS, next to me. Although, that may not be exactly true as when he decided he wanted to eat, he would give me little nips either on the back of my legs or closer to my butt. Believe when I say I got him his food really fast. LOL
Yesterday morning, I knew it was his last day with me. I could tell from his walking and breathing that it was nearly time. I knew inside, that he would refuse the food I offered him, but still I tried. He paced trying to find a dark spot with privacy. Unlike Roxbro who only wanted on my lap, Brandy still wanted to be Boss Cat right to the end. My daughter found a wicker basket and we placed a blanket inside and I put the basket under the coffee table so I could keep my hand on him to show him I was there with him. He took his last two breaths and then he was gone. Wednesday, January 18th, 2006 at 6:47pm was the last I saw my Brandy alive and now another star in the heavens is lit and my angel has gone his way to Rainbow Bridge no longer in any pain and suffering.
I will always hold the 22 years of memories that Brandy has given me and he will never be lost to me as he is in my heart and one day we will be together once more. Already I miss him more than words can say and tears are endless. My grief will heal with time, but for now, there is a large void in my heart to wake up and not see my precious Brandy here. I miss you my Purrouw! *kisses*


Bogart said...

Bogart and I (and our 4 cats) send you all of our love... I lost two of my beloved 16 year old cats within months of each other about 2 years ago and my eyes still tear up when I think about them... they were my closest friends in the world as I'm sure that Brandy was with you. Cry a lot - it helps - and we really send all the good thoughts in the world to you and Shasta!

Amstaffie said...

Hold on to the memories. Hugs, love, & purrayers are sent your way.

Andee & Storm

Conners said...

Thanks Bogart and believe me, I AM crying a LOT! My family has become only two babes from a family of six and only in the past few years. I can't bare to lose any more of them, especialy with Shasta on the restricted list which in itself is scarey.
But I remind myself they are only on lone to me for a time and I'm fortunate that I am given a very looong time with them.
As much as I try to comfort myself with logic, it doesn't mend the heart. I'm thankful that all the pain is gone and they are in peace, but I'm selfish and miss them being with me like they have been all these years. Now I only have memories, but they are sweet and funny memories.
I saw Brandy in my dream last night. Only a split second that I can remember. Perhaps he was telling me he was still with me.

Conners said...

Thanks Andee and Storm
22 years of sweet and funny memories. I hang on to them for dear life and will always remember as I do all the others. Each very special in their own way!

IndyPindy said...

Oh, I'm sorry! Poor Brandy. I send you both big wet Husky kisses!

Conners said...

Than you Indy. Shasta and my other feline Petu have been cuddling together lately. My fur-fam has been getting smaller in such a short time. Now there are only the two of them and they know it.
Poor Petu has been third on the pecking order for so long in that cat department and by process of illimination, he is now Top Cat, but not a position he seems to glorify over.
I refuse to get anymore. It's just me, Petu and Shasta now and that's the way it will stay. I can't stand the part of them leaving me. It's too heart breaking even if they are only on lone.
I have the bitter sweet memories and that's what I will keep with me.

Faira said...

Conners, I posted a comment for here?! But while I was posting my AOL went down. SOOOO, when I got AOL back up I posted again. But I ended up posting on my Blog instead of yours ... under the new printer I bought that you had commented under, don't ask me how ... CRAZY! I must still not feel up to par, I have been making all sorts of bloging comment mistakes! I apologize and I hope you will go and read my comment for you because it might be in the wrong place but it is certainly from my heart!